I asked this question of a client who had shared a detailed story about trying to resolve some physical and emotional issues. My desire was to have this thirty-something parent understand and accept how to truly heal.After hearing a list of different ways to fix neck, stress and emotional problems, I drew a circle within a circle within another circle while suggesting that the circles might be endless. I filled in the center circle, saying that it represented the focus of our life: our family, work, personal care, community involvement, etc. Then I randomly marked an “X” on various points of the other circles saying they represented all the mental, emotional and spiritual imbalances, of which we may or may not be aware, affecting our ability to be peaceful, useful, happy and healthy in our center circle.
I suggested that the “Xs” act like magnets attracting crossroads moments. These moments invite awareness of and opportunities to resolve what is yet unresolved from the past. It is not necessary to search out and try to “heal” the “X”s. If something is unresolved, a mirror of it will show up in present-time. When resolved, the mirror-like incidents will not arise.
The Client’s Story
In a Mind-Body Coaching balance a few weeks earlier, this client had reconnected with a past trauma. The memory showed up while doing activities for resolving an overall pattern, which related to a present-time life challenge. We hadn’t gone looking for the trauma. It arose while doing movements that create whole-brain integration.
The spontaneous memory recall surprised my client. This person didn’t realize that past traumas, whether they are injuries or emotional events many times are held in muscle memory long after an event is passed and even if emotional detachment has been achieved. This trauma was affecting the client’s ability to manage emotions while under stress and contributing to the physical symptoms that were coming up.
After a balance, there is “integration” time – time for the mind-body system to adjust to a new homeostasis or way of being. The day following the balance this client experienced a bit of an emotional release. For the following two weeks, the client was productive, stable and peaceful. Then the neck started hurting.
The client got a massage and a couple of chiropractic adjustments within a one to two week timeframe, trying to fix the neck pain. Significant anxiety arose almost immediately following the second adjustment. When the client couldn’t resolve the anxiety by other means, I got a call asking for another Mind-Body balance.
What the Client Learned
This client didn’t realize that doing too many back-to-back, bodywork sessions, trying to fix symptoms of a bigger issue, can flip an emotional switch. The perfection in this sequence of events is that a deeper experience of a core pattern — an “X” — was revealed and a greater commitment to understanding how to heal was voiced.
Healing is Not About Fixing a “Problem”
Most approaches to healing are about fixing a problem with the mind or body so we can cope with our lives or fit into our world as it is. Occasional visits to the doctor, massage practitioner, chiropractor or other specialist in their field can be useful for managing stress or getting urgently needed relief. If fixing the mind or body is our only measure for healing, we can be disappointed. A greater healing occurs when our focus shifts from the “problem” symptom to realizing our greater purpose for living.
We live in a society of quick fixes, instant messaging and sound-bite responses to major events. It is no wonder we have expectations that a pill, diet change, topical remedy, physical adjustment, prayer or conversation will heal what ails us. Sometimes I wish this were so. But, this attitude assumes that fixing the body or mind is what healing is all about. Any yet, it is more than that.
Healing is More Than That
Our world is evolving and so are we. We came here to awaken and share what is already wise, strong and whole within us. Physical, mental and emotional challenges are crossroads moments inviting a reflection on and recommitment to this purpose. The most comprehensive healing occurs when we include the mental, emotional and energetic aspects of the greater issue — the “X” — when asking an individual part of the mind-body system to heal.
The body is the vehicle through which we express our Higher Self (or whatever you call your Innate Intelligence, Christ Self, Buddha Nature or Higher Power.) I use “Innate Power” in Design and Live the Life You Love: A Guide for Living in Your Power and Fulfilling Your Purpose. When we are able to observe our challenges with self-forgiveness and self-appreciation, which is how our Higher Self views our life experiences, we have healed one or more “Xs”. Many times this alone resolves a presenting symptom.
The Client’s Results
In this balance, a deeper connection with the client’s Higher Self was achieved through a combination of prayer, energy and integrative movement activities. As a result, peace, clarity, optimism, understanding and a bit of physical relief was achieved.
Feeling empowered on completion, this client went away more deeply committed to taking time, each day, to do self-care activities (meditation, time in nature and some brain integration movements) in balance with time spent serving others; to allow integration time before returning to the chiropractor (if the neck still needed some help); and, to study and practice time management and communication skills.
How Do You Heal?
1. Recognize and accept that you are here to fulfill a greater purpose beyond coping with physical, mental or emotional stresses in your life.
2. Hold an intention for the highest and best healing on all levels when “stuff” happens – those inevitable Crossroads Moments.
3. Explore how the crossroad moment and your response to it are revealing a core life pattern — an “X” — that you were born to resolve so you can effectively express your Best Self in your life.
4. When you receive outside support, hold in prayer or have the intention to resolve the core pattern — the “X” — that interferes with your ability to express your Innate Power in the center circle of your life, while you address the physical, mental, emotional or life issue that is up for you.
5. Instead of focusing on what is wrong while feeling frustrated, accept the crossroads moment, and each moment of the healing process, as an opportunity to awaken and express all that is whole, wise and loving within you.
6. Learn healthy time management, communication and stress resolution skills.
7. Take action to balance doing and being, giving and receiving, rest and activity.
Why I Wrote This
I wrote this as much for me as for you, the reader, because writing it helped me remember and live these principles as I was recovering from a major allergic and autoimmune reaction after applying Neutrogena Baby Brand sunscreen to my arms and feet then doing yard work for less than an hour. YUK!
My Blessing to You
I have this poem on my balance room wall as a reminder of how to heal. It is from a beloved Spiritual Friend of mine.
You are not broken.
Childhood suffering is not a mortal wound
and it did not irrevocably shape your destiny.
You need not remove, destroy or tear
anything out of yourself in order to build
Your challenge is not to keep trying to
repair what was damaged.
Your practice, instead, is to reawaken
what is already wise, strong and whole within you;
to cultivate those qualities of heart and spirit
that are available to you
in this very moment.
This is my desire for all who balance with me and for all who read what I write. May you awaken all that is whole, wise and loving in you as you take action to heal.