Saying, “It is what it is” is not acceptance when you feel hopeless and upset.
True acceptance is freeing.
Unlike allowing unacceptable behavior, acceptance is letting go of the emotional rope, detaching from the pull of frustration and anger, so you can set boundaries professionally and choose wisely.
Let’s use the example of the person you are relying on in another department to get you accurate information or documentation at a particular time. Suppose, at the time in question the information is not ready or the documents have an error. You may feel put on the spot because the customer is scheduled to come in or is expecting your call.
When you are in your Power you “Accept what is.”
“Accepting what is” means:
1. Being aware of the facts.
2. Taking a deep breath and acknowledging the facts, including the fact that sometimes people make mistakes, priorities can conflict and things happen to create delays.
3. Managing your emotions (Go to the “Managing Emotions” Tag for past posts).
4. Preventing problems by preparing for them — for example: following up in advance and confirming progress.
5. Giving status reports to the customer and rescheduling if needed.
6. Using Effective Communication skills so you problem-solve professionally (Go to the “Communication” Tag for tips)
When you give your Power away, blame can resonate in your words, tone of voice and/or body language — an unprofessional strategy that fuels negative emotions, ignores solutions, prevents resolution and negatively affects relationships.
1. Instead of blaming follow steps 1 through 6 for “Accepting what is.”
2. If you are on the receiving end of blame, use the effective communication tips to demonstrate that you understand the message and ask how they would like the issue resolved.
3. When you have a complaint, first acknowledge what was done well then ask if you can share ideas for how to do things more effectively. When you have permission, make your suggestions.
Conflicting priorities, time delays and mistakes are a norm in many organizations.
Days when all goes smoothly and everyone seems happy occur most frequently when you master communication, listening and self-management skills. These skills enable you to navigate daily challenges professionally. Everyday gives you lots of opportunities to practice. Have fun as you practice new skills.
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